The free agent signing frenzy is one of the most exciting periods in offseason sports fandom. Will such-and-such big-name free agent finally be the missing piece your team needs to compete for a championship, or will it end up destroying the team (and its salary cap) for years to come? It’s an exciting time, sure, but it’s funny to watch fans, players, and team executives alike get carried away in the moment. One of the silliest parts of this frenzy is the introductory press conference. They’re completely meaningless; it’s just a bunch of executives, coaches, and athletes grinning into the camera and spouting trite sports cliches.
Just be thankful you don’t live in Europe. Superstar Cristiano Ronaldo was introduced to 80,000 assembled Real Madrid fans and media today in a spectacle that made even the most overblown of press conferences look like a Quaker church meeting.
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Kobe Bryant is bad, he’s bad, you know it (come on). So Bryant is going to be one of the big celebrities at the Michael Jackson Memorial on Tuesday; of course he is. But what I’m unclear on is what his function will be at the big party — will he favor us with a tune? Break out a red leather jacket? Reenact the “Black or White” video with Luke Walton as Macauley Culkin? The answers are shrouded in mystery.
What is known: Magic Johnson will also be there, along with thousands of others who were lucky enough to get tickets by whatever means or form of random drawing they used. And because what this thing needed more of was additional celebrities, let’s throw in Berry Gordy, Brooke Shields, Smokey Robinson, Lionel Richie, Usher, Martin Luther King III, and, in a bit of troubling irony, Shaheen Jafargholi, the 12-year-old who was a finalist on the latest edition of “Britain’s Got Talent” recently. Read more…
With everything that happened over the past 48 hours, I’ll excuse you if you weren’t paying much attention to the LPGA Tour. Which is the problem: nobody really is. Despite having young & talented players, pushing the sex appeal angle as hard as they can, and taking draconian steps to improve the tour’s visibility (remember English Only-Gate?), the tour is sinking to WNBA levels of irrelevancy.
(Anna Rawson might have more free time to secure domain names.)
This became painfully evident last week, when word came out that the tour was being forced to cancel its event at Kapalua in Hawaii scheduled for October because of the lack of a title sponsor. Which means that the tour schedule might have only 10 stops in the U.S. next year, including none in Hawaii, Arizona or Florida. But - to paraphrase “This is Spinal Tap” - that’s OK: those aren’t big golfing areas, anyway.
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The gun that was found at the Steve McNair homicide scene had been purchased by Sahel Kazemi, the woman with whom he was having an affair and who was found dead with him in his condo, Nashville police just confirmed. Although other theories are still on the table, according to police, the possibility of a murder-suicide is emerging as the more likely scenario. At this point, however, is it wise to assume anything in the case that blurs the line between real life and film noir?
Kazemi’s nephew, Farzin Abdi, has said earlier that police are “almost certain” that Kazemi was the shooter, and that she had purchased the handgun that was found beneath her body at the scene. Police would not say that publicly until just moments ago, however. And that gives credence to the most likely scenario of all — jilted lover, who had expected her boyfriend to divorce his wife and marry her, snaps when he gets cold feet and tells her it’s over. Crime fiction wouldn’t exist without this staple; Greek Tragedy, indeed. Read more…
Hey, you there - yeah you, about to go for a run. I see you over there doing your ridiculous overdramatic stretching, with your designer moisture-wicking running clothes on, $300 running shoes, and iPod attached to your upper arm. You think you’re pretty rad, don’t you? Congrats on running that 5k last weekend, that $50 you and your firm (matching funds, brah) raised for the fight against Brain Cloud will really make a huge difference in the world.
(Don’t mind me, just out for a quick run.)
But do us all a favor, won’t you? Stop acting like you’re some sort of hardened athlete. Jogging around on flat asphalt is something that anyone with a BMI under 40 can do with a little bit of effort. You want to impress the ladies? Enter a real man’s race like the Welsh Bog-Snorkelling Triathlon, which a true badass by the name of Dan Bent won over the weekend. Get Bent and learn how real men race, after the jump.
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Because he grew up in England and lived near London, at around the age of 14, when the Germans bombed certain neighborhoods there to smithereens, one would think Bernie Ecclestone have a firmer grasp on the role that Adolf Hitler played in world history. Apparently not. The World Jewish Congress has called for Ecclestone to resign as president and CEO of Formula One racing after comments in THE TIMES of London on Saturday, about how Hitler was led astray, and was “able to get things done.” This coming right before the German Grand Prix. Nice.
(Looking down on Bernie is easy — just as ex-wife Slavica Radić)
But now Ecclestone is saying that the whole thing was all a big misunderstanding. And he even — get this — pulled out the “some of my best friends are Jews” line. I’d be willing to bet that some of his other best friends are racist dipsh*ts. Read more…
St. Louis, Missouri is a miserable place to be in the middle of summer, even in years when the Mississippi River’s not threatening to flood its banks. Temperatures rise regularly to the upper 90s, as do the humidity levels. Large swarms of flying insects (including mosquitoes) make even the shortest of outdoor walks miserable, if not painful. Even larger swarms of enormous red-clad hilljacks from southern Illinois and the inner wilds of Missouri eat their way through the city on the way to their annual Busch Stadium pilgrimages. Oh, and don’t get mugged.
(Is this what they mean by Show-Me State?)
If all that wasn’t unpleasant enough for visitors, at least most of us don’t have the St. Louis city government (motto: “60% Population Decrease Since 1950″) trying to take our hard-earned and ever-decreasing work bonuses away from us. Unfortunately, the same can’t be be said for the players selected to the 2009 MLB All-Star Game in St. Louis, who stand to lose a chunk of their All-Star bonus to The Man…even if they don’t play in the game.
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Look, many of history’s major agreements have come to fruition as the main participants were bathing. Winston Churchill convincing FDR to enact the lend-lease program (bathtub); the Missouri Compromise (steam room); signing of the Declaration of Independence (Founding Fathers nakedly cavorting in local hot spring). Now comes news that the seeds for Ron Artest’s signing with the Lakers were sewn last year as Artest joined Kobe Bryant in the shower.
It happened in 2008, following the Lakers’ Game 6 loss to the Celtics that decided the NBA Championship. Artest, who was then employed by the Sacramento Kings, had attended the game, and afterwards burst into Phil Jackson’s office — which was off limits — to tell the coach he thought he would be a good fit for his team. Then Artest made his way to the adjoining shower area, where Kobe was lathering up, and walked right in to again present his plan. Read more…
Perhaps nothing in the United States makes the worst-case argument against socialism (in an unenlightened barroom argument sort of way) as well as professional sports. Shared revenue and talent pools serve to prop up and even reward owners who are unwilling or unable to field competitive teams, the very antithesis of the American traditions of “rugged individualism” and capitalism. Of course, fans give sports teams a pass in ways they wouldn’t dream imaginable in any other part of the public sphere because WOOOOOO SPORTS!
(Symbolism.)
It’s a system Golden State Warriors owner Chris Cohan has been exploiting for years. Under his ownership, bad front office hires, questionable personnel moves, and bad basketball have been the norm. Cohan has no reason to care, though, because he’s gotten the facility renovations he demanded and has made money hand over fist thanks to Bay Area fans and NBA revenue. Now, all that incompetence is going to pay off when he bails on the team and sells it off - if the price is right.
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Is it possible that Mechelle McNair had no idea about her husband’s affair with 20-year-old beauty Sahel Kazemi, learning about it only when the grisly crime scene was discovered at a Nashville condo? The NEW YORK DAILY NEWS this morning is quoting a source saying that Steve McNair’s wife was “blindsided” by the relationship, a surprising contention considering how openly Kazemi was discussing her belief that the couple was getting a divorce.
(Sahel Kazemi)
Just another wrinkle in the story that has more twists and turns than a Hitchcock film. All the elements of a classic crime thriller are in place: The crime scene that leaves more questions than answers; one victim who is a famous ex-athlete, the other who came to this country after her parents were killed in Iran; a jealous ex-boyfriend; a mystery man lurking in the shadows. And the wife who claims she was totally in the dark. But was she?
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